Until the crisp October afternoon the renowned writer/director Balu garu from Seattle approached me to teach Durga Suktam to my Telugu students, I only knew it as that song from the movie, Sapta Padi, that I watched as a child. I distinctly remember the first day of the zoom session to teach Durga Suktam to my students. I was unsure of my own pronunciation, let alone teach the kids. That night, I made the decision to teach Maha Lakshmi ashtakam instead, realizing that I am not cut out for the rigor learning Durga Suktam demands.
A few weeks went by. Balu garu asked if I could have any local dance students attempt any dances on Goddess Durga. Raaga was fortunate to be involved with a similar prior endeavor where she choreographed Kuchipudi dance for an Annamayya keertana (Musina Mutyalakele). But she could not commit to Durga dance this time, as the junior year in school and the annual day celebrations at her dance school kept her schedule packed. I felt bad saying no to Durga item a second time and decided to learn it the correct way. Reached out to my dear classmate from Sanskrit classes, Ramkumar Mahodaya, and requested him to teach me the proper Vedic enunciations Durga Suktam demands. While at it, I gathered a few other interested adults to join the zoom sessions, and we all got our beginnings through "jAtavEdasE...".
We met on some weeknights and most weekend mornings, and did our best to pronounce it correctly under the guidance of Ram Kumar garu and Subra garu who also offered pronunciation help. I believe we were learning 5th verse that night, when I found Taara humming the first two verses casually while walking upstairs to her bedroom. I stopped her and asked her to sing it and she recited it with the kind of clarity that would have made Ram Kumar mahodaya proud. I recorded her recital and sent it to my parents in India. My sister had recorded nanna's reaction to Taara's recital that day and it is a video that is very close to my heart. That was the week nanna was diagnosed with lung cancer and brain metastases.
I went to India on October 29th, and dad's condition deteriorated by the hour, to the point where his hands, legs and eyes stopped moving. The neurosurgeon gave him a week to live. Through daily runs to the doctors and nightly stays at the hospital, I somehow managed to continue with my Durga Suktam classes on zoom. It was the goddess reminding me to keep the faith, rather. By Friday November 7th, there was not much left to do and we began to wheel nanna out of the hospital. Just then, the neurosurgeon walked in- dad's blood biopsy results came through, and an oral pill called Osimertinib can reliably cure the brain lesions and suppress future growth. We started him on Osimertinib at 7pm that night. He drank his coffee, holding the cup by himself, the next morning. I returned to Portland on November 10th, just in time to attend the Adi Parasakti Dance drama directed by Balu garu the following weekend. My Telugu students recited Mahalakshmi Ashtakam that day. My zoom classmates and I recited Durga Suktam on stage, led by two students that also learnt it, Saketh and Taara. I shared the video of Taara's singing with amma and nanna, and there was similar appreciation from nanna again.
I went back to India in February for my sister's milestone birthday. While I was there, more video calls and more recitals took place upon nanna's request. He beamed with pride every time he heard Taara's recital.
On March 29th, nanna got severely dehydrated after being out at the temple all day for Sita Rama Kalyanam. Just as I started planning my third trip to India in less than 6 months, Taara's blood work in response to her daily nose bleeds for >35 days came back abnormal for several factors. I did not have the heart to leave her in Portland, so I took her along with me. Within hours of our arrival on April 16th, Taara was singing Durga Suktam by nanna's bed while he watched her intently. She did so again on the 19th, but nanna's eyes did not show the same appreciation as before. He passed away on the 20th. We returned to Portland on May 9th. Taara did not have a single nosebleed the whole time in India. It was as if her trip to India was just meant to be.
We hosted a memorial for nanna in Portland on August 29th. We all wore grey- nanna's favorite color. We shared our fondest memories of him. Listened to uncle Sri Nukala Prabhakar garu sing his favorite Ghantasala songs. Watched Nanna's acting videos. Ate some of his favorite food. I even drank his favorite filter coffee, savoring every last drop (I am not a coffee drinker). Taara sang Durga Suktam- as she did so many times in the past. She could only get to five verses before she broke down. Only then did I realize what Durga Suktam meant to her.
From the first zoom session to this memorial, Durga Suktam has had a profound impact on my family- it is the divine experience only SHE could have orchestrated.
Taara's Recital of Durga Suktam: https://youtube.com/shorts/IOkAEEiuJOA?si=4rPpl2roExaCbT2v
Video of Nanna's memorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb6QiSkdj8c&feature=youtu.be
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