Durga Suktam- Praise of the Goddess

I have several wonderful experiences that I personally sought after. Many treasured friendships that I earned with conscious efforts. But I can find no other explanation for my stumbling upon Durga Suktam than that it was orchestrated by Goddess Durga herself.

Until the crisp October afternoon the renowned writer/director Balu garu from Seattle approached me to teach Durga Suktam to my Telugu students, I only knew it as that song from the movie, Sapta Padi, that I watched as a child. I distinctly remember the first day of the zoom session to teach Durga Suktam to my students. I was unsure of my own pronunciation, let alone teach the kids. That night, I made the decision to teach Maha Lakshmi ashtakam instead, realizing that I am not cut out for the rigor learning Durga Suktam demands.

A few weeks went by. Balu garu asked if I could have any local dance students attempt any dances on Goddess Durga. Raaga was fortunate to be involved with a similar prior endeavor where she choreographed Kuchipudi dance for an Annamayya keertana (Musina Mutyalakele). But she could not commit to Durga dance this time, as the junior year in school and the annual day celebrations at her dance school kept her schedule packed. I felt bad saying no to Durga item a second time and decided to learn it the correct way. Reached out to my dear classmate from Sanskrit classes, Ramkumar Mahodaya, and requested him to teach me the proper Vedic enunciations Durga Suktam demands. While at it, I gathered a few other interested adults to join the zoom sessions, and we all got our beginnings through "jAtavEdasE...".

We met on some weeknights and most weekend mornings, and did our best to pronounce it correctly under the guidance of Ram Kumar garu and Subra garu who also offered pronunciation help. I believe we were learning 5th verse that night, when I found Taara humming the first two verses casually while walking upstairs to her bedroom. I stopped her and asked her to sing it and she recited it with the kind of clarity that would have made Ram Kumar mahodaya proud. I recorded her recital and sent it to my parents in India. My sister had recorded nanna's reaction to Taara's recital that day and it is a video that is very close to my heart. That was the week nanna was diagnosed with lung cancer and brain metastases.

I went to India on October 29th, and dad's condition deteriorated by the hour, to the point where his hands, legs and eyes stopped moving. The neurosurgeon gave him a week to live. Through daily runs to the doctors and nightly stays at the hospital, I somehow managed to continue with my Durga Suktam classes on zoom. It was the goddess reminding me to keep the faith, rather. By Friday November 7th, there was not much left to do and we began to wheel nanna out of the hospital. Just then, the neurosurgeon walked in- dad's blood biopsy results came through, and an oral pill called Osimertinib can reliably cure the brain lesions and suppress future growth. We started him on Osimertinib at 7pm that night. He drank his coffee, holding the cup by himself, the next morning. I returned to Portland on November 10th, just in time to attend the Adi Parasakti Dance drama directed by Balu garu the following weekend. My Telugu students recited Mahalakshmi Ashtakam that day. My zoom classmates and I recited Durga Suktam on stage, led by two students that also learnt it, Saketh and Taara. I shared the video of Taara's singing with amma and nanna, and there was similar appreciation from nanna again.

I went back to India in February for my sister's milestone birthday. While I was there, more video calls and more recitals took place upon nanna's request. He beamed with pride every time he heard Taara's recital. 

On March 29th, nanna got severely dehydrated after being out at the temple all day for Sita Rama Kalyanam. Just as I started planning my third trip to India in less than 6 months, Taara's blood work in response to her daily nose bleeds for >35 days came back abnormal for several factors. I did not have the heart to leave her in Portland, so I took her along with me. Within hours of our arrival on April 16th, Taara was singing Durga Suktam by nanna's bed while he watched her intently. She did so again on the 19th, but nanna's eyes did not show the same appreciation as before. He passed away on the 20th. We returned to Portland on May 9th. Taara did not have a single nosebleed the whole time in India. It was as if her trip to India was just meant to be.

We hosted a memorial for nanna in Portland on August 29th. We all wore grey- nanna's favorite color. We shared our fondest memories of him. Listened to uncle Sri Nukala Prabhakar garu sing his favorite Ghantasala songs. Watched Nanna's acting videos. Ate some of his favorite food. I even drank his favorite filter coffee, savoring every last drop (I am not a coffee drinker). Taara sang Durga Suktam- as she did so many times in the past. She could only get to five verses before she broke down. Only then did I realize what Durga Suktam meant to her.

From the first zoom session to this memorial, Durga Suktam has had a profound impact on my family- it is the divine experience only SHE could have orchestrated. 

Taara's Recital of Durga Suktam: https://youtube.com/shorts/IOkAEEiuJOA?si=4rPpl2roExaCbT2v

Video of Nanna's memorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb6QiSkdj8c&feature=youtu.be

Lasya and Sravya's Rangapravesam

 It has been my girls’ ritual to talk about our favorite moments of the recital on our drive home from dancing events. Today was Lasya and Sravya’s Rangapravesam, and so many memories flashed in my mind as I started driving us home.

The Vuppamandla sisters are not just any dance school friends. Their family has been a constant throughout Raaga’s marathon dance journey, from day-1 to the day of Rangapravesam, and beyond. Raaga’s first ever Kuchipudi class at Nartana was with Lasya. For her first few dance years, Raaga’s makeup and hair was exclusively done at the Vuppamandla house- their dining table littered with black wool, safety pins and makeup brushes, moms and kids hurriedly feasting on Aruna’s idlies or sambar rice or something equally delicious, minutes before rushing to the recital venue. Taara’s baby shower was hosted by Aruna. Lasya and Sravya were the first kids other than Raaga to hold Taara, right on the day she came home from the hospital. Our years of friendship was evident in the emotions I felt as the girls were discussing their favorites from today’s recital.

1. The opening item, Jayamu Jayamu, was already their award winning item from Natya Idol, and Lasya and Sravya kicked off their big day with effortless elegance dancing to this song.

2. The second item, Ananda Natana Prakasam, had the girls commanding the audience’ attention with their every posture and formation, and Sravya’s epic backbend requiring a special mention.

3. During the third item, Vacchenu Alamelu Manga, I only saw the Goddess Alamelu Manga wearing green bangles the whole time Sravya was on stage, and I wished she stayed there for longer. Sravya looked divinely beautiful in this piece!

4. The tharangam, fourth one and the main item of the day, was an outstanding dramatization of Sudama’s friendship with lord Krishna, and his transformation from rags to riches. Between the two of them, Lasya and Sravya brought to life a steady stream of characters with their delicate expressions, and reminded us all the power of devotion. Special kudos to the vocalists for their incredible rendition of “takadiku dikutaka tom tana dhirana” throughout the plate segment with such precision and synchronization that elevated the item to stratosphere!

5. Post break, the girls resumed with the fifth item, sogasuga, a high octane number that had incredible jumps and lightning fast movements. Anu’s nattuvangam to those jathis was easily the best we’ve seen in recent times! The costumes were amazing in general, but the ones in this segment were my personal favorites. The sogasu on display was in perfect sync with the sogasu being sung!

6. The sixth item, Jayadeva ashtapadi, unveiled the dancer’s depth and attention to detail. It truly felt like we were watching Lasya’s nartana viswarupam, the culmination of her sadhana. As the emcees narrated, Lasya oscillated magically between jeevatma (Radha) and paramatma (Krishna), just with her expressions!

7. The seventh item, Brahmamokkate, was just outstanding choreography to a timeless classic delivering a message that stays relevant to any generation. In the part where the girls were portraying the commonality between a king’s nap in the palace and the slave’s dozing off, Sravya’s expressions trying to stay awake were hilarious and had the audience in splits!

8. The final item, Suruti Thillana, was a perfect conclusion to the Lasyam and Sravyam on display throughout the evening.

Taara declared that the plate dance during Tarangam, the main item of the day, was her favorite. She found the balancing act on the rims of the brass plates to be most fascinating.

Raaga’s pick was Brahmamokkate. It is her favorite Annamacharya keertana and she enjoyed how beautifully it came together, from costumes to choreography, vocals and percussion to the dancers’ expressions.

I enjoyed the two solos- vacchenu alamelu manga by Sravya and the Jayadeva ashtapadi by Lasya. When did the little Sravya we know become so big and beautiful and divine?! For the playful goof ball vibes Lasya always gives in real life, she totally surprised me with the depth and variations in her millions of expressions as the jealous Radha pining for Krishna’s attention.

For once, the three of us had different favorites, and we could be easily convinced to switch our loyalties to any of the other items. It goes to show just the kind of perfection and variety that was on display on the stage at Patricia Reser today.

I had two favorite non-dancing moments from the day that trump all the other dancing moments- the first when the two dancers exited the stage, literally jumping triumphantly, at the end of first half, and the second when the two of them held their hands while listening to their guru speak at the end. Such moments don't get rehearsed. They just get made. Today, Lasya and Sravya made their grand kuchipudi entrance. Congratulations to Aruna, Kalyan, Anu, the orchestra, and everyone else that made it happen!

The Birds Who Chose Our Home

 https://youtu.be/cAmqrZpBCXk

The Birds Who Chose Our Home

It was May 10, 2026—Mother's Day.

It had been exactly five years since we lost our paternal grandparents. Our hearts were still heavy from the recent loss of our maternal grandfather. Our mom and Ammamma had just landed in Portland the day before, after emptying their home in Hyderabad and closing a chapter of their lives.

That morning, we noticed two birds inspecting our front porch, digging around in our small white planter. They had done the same thing last year, so we knew what was coming.

Sure enough, over the next week, a beautifully crafted nest appeared. Then, one by one, four tiny eggs arrived over four days. Soon after, the mama bird settled onto them, patiently keeping them warm.

Every morning, we'd quietly crack open the front door just enough to see if she was still there.

One day, all four eggs had hatched. Tiny, fragile baby birds filled the nest. They were almost featherless, with only the faintest lines where their eyes would eventually open. We watched the mama and papa birds tirelessly take turns feeding them, protecting them, and keeping watch over our porch.

We stopped using our front door so we wouldn't disturb their little family.

Day by day, the transformation was remarkable. Wisps of down became feathers. Their eyes slowly opened. They grew stronger and began making tiny hops around the nest.

Then, on June 20—the day before Father's Day—we noticed something different. The mother and father birds spent the entire day perched nearby, chirping constantly as they hopped between our jasmine vine and the mango tree, almost as if they were encouraging their little ones.

The next morning, they were all gone.

The nest was empty.

For over forty days, our lives had quietly intertwined with the life of this little bird family. Seeing the empty nest was unexpectedly heartbreaking.

But we also knew what it meant.

The babies had found their wings. They were never meant to stay.

 We felt incredibly fortunate that these birds chose our home to raise their family at a time when ours had just grown smaller.

 Somehow, they reminded us that love doesn't end when someone leaves. We hold on to the memories, the laughter, and the time we were given, and we learn to let go with gratitude. Like those birds, every life follows its own season. There is a time to build, a time to nurture, and eventually, a time to fly.

This Father's Day, we are choosing to remember not the empty nest, but the beautiful season that came before it.

Happy Father's Day. ❤️

Books That Linger: Heart the Lover

I’ve been having trouble falling asleep lately, tossing and turning until I eventually reach for my phone and sink into another round of social media brain rot. Unsurprisingly, my eyes have paid the price. During the holidays, I decided to change that habit: I stocked my nightstand with books and moved my phone just far enough out of reach to make a difference.

The first book I picked up was Heart Lamp, the Booker Prize–winning short story collection by Banu Mushtaq. I managed to read only half the stories before I had to return it to the library, but it was exactly the genre I love, being a fly on the wall in other people’s everyday lives and absorbing their stories. It’s ironic how someone else’s mundane can feel like our own novelty. I hope to get my hands on it again soon and finish it.

Next came A Nearly Normal Family by M. T. Edvardsson. It is a crime thriller centered on the 18-year-old daughter of a pastor father and a lawyer mother. The premise was compelling in parts, though it grew predictable toward the end.

I then picked up Jeffrey Archer’s Sons of Fortune, purely out of nostalgia for a favorite childhood author. I was about halfway through when I stumbled upon Heart the Lover at the library. From the moment I picked it up over the weekend, I only put it down to sleep or drive.

Written in the future tense, something I’ve rarely read, it traces the journey of its female protagonist, Jordan, who will remind readers of their first love, their innocence, and their mistakes. One line in particular lodged itself in my heart: “If he knew how much I loved him, it would terrify him.” That thought comes from Jordan's recollection of Willie breaking up with her in sixth grade. When she asks why, he says, “Because you have all these memories of me stuffed inside you and I don’t, and it makes me feel funny.”

I keep pondering about relationships and conflicts. I believe there are two distinct kinds of relationships: those where imbalance is inherent—such as teacher and student, or mother and infant—where one gives far more than the other; and those built on equal partnership, like friendships, romantic relationships, and marriages. Conflict often arises when imbalance quietly seeps into relationships that are meant to be equal. 

I find myself returning to the two ways of seeing life that the characters debate. Would I choose presentism, believing life exists only in the immediacy of now, or the vast continuum—birth in a bang, expansion, collapse into a black hole, and rebirth in another bang?

Jordan’s journey made me think deeply, and even a day later, my heart still aches. I later looked up the book and found solace in the reviews, realizing I wasn’t the only one whose thoughts had been deeply stirred by it. I gathered that this is a companion to "Writers & Lovers" by the same author, guess I will soon be reading it!

NPR: https://www.npr.org/2025/11/03/nx-s1-5592934/heart-the-lover-lily-king-book-review

The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2025/oct/30/heart-the-lover-by-lily-king-review-a-love-story-to-treasure

Books that Linger: Pride and Prejudice

December 16, 2025

So many Pride and Prejudice reels on my feed today! Apparently, it is its author, Jane Austen's 250th birth anniversary! There is no time like present to write about my obsession with Pride and Prejudice!

Though I did not step foot in any library until college and did not really have access to any books other than what we read for school, I always knew I enjoyed reading, learning about different people, circumstances, and their stories. The daily Telugu newspaper (https://eenadu.net) was my single thirst quenching resource in those days, a habit that got ingrained in me to this day. I used to feel all fancy on those occasional days I was able to borrow and read the MISHA and Soviet Union magazines from one of my cool friends that had the subscription. It was when I switched from Telugu to English as first language in my 11th grade that I had the first introduction to novels. An abridged version of Pride and Prejudice was on our curriculum that year and my antennae were in full reception mode, absorbing every thought, every character, and feeling every emotion. 

Every guy I liked was put next to me on a wedding altar instantaneously in my imagination, because you know, "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

Every guy I liked that did not like me back was a Mr.Darcy telling me that I am "tolerable but not handsome enough...". 

I saw an Elizabeth Bennet in every girl that was able to say exactly what's on her mind even in the most challenging of scenarios. 

When watching Kareena Kapoor's Geet character unabashedly declare "मै अपनी फ़ेवरेट हू|" in the Hindi movie, Jab We Met, I could not help but remember Elizabeth Bennet declaring the same “I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice.”

I saw a Charlotte Lucas “In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels” in every well-meaning friend suggesting to compromise and feed to a man's ego.

I was fully convinced that I was great at initial judgment of men. (“It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first.”)

And of course, there are those killer lines from Mr. Darcy-

“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will no longer be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

I fully expected the man I was to marry to say those exact words like Mr. Darcy before I would even consider the marriage...but alas I did not have the patience and resolve of Ms. Elizabeth Bennet (“If a woman is partial to a man, and does not endeavour to conceal it, he must find it out.") and ended up proposing to my man first! 

There is something I did learn from Elizabeth Bennet and her creator, Jane Austen- to continue to be fearless and rise above every challenge life throws at me. 

"There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” - Elizabeth Bennet

Jane Austen may have never married or had a serious relationship in real life, but her novel, Pride and Prejudice, is a timeless manifestation of a woman's deepest feelings and thoughts on marriage and relationships. I take pride in the fun fact that I got married to my husband on the same day as Jane Austen's birthday!

Adi ParaSakthi- Dance Drama!!

I am impatient.
I have two left feet.
I’m not particularly religious.
I absolutely dislike sci-fi, anime, or anything remotely unrealistic.

Yet this past weekend, I sat through a five-hour dance drama on the nine forms of Goddess Shakti—and I could have watched more.

Such was the talent, finesse, and thoughtfully curated storytelling delivered on Saturday, November 15th at Lake Oswego High School by the 70+ member Surya Teja Arts team.

From Shailaputri, the mountain-born maiden, to Brahmacharini the ascetic, Chandraghanta with her crescent moon, Kushmanda who births the universe, Skandamata the divine mother, Katyayani the pious daughter, Kalaratri the fierce destroyer of evil, Mahagauri the serene form nearing awakening, and Siddhidhatri—the enlightened one who culminates as Mahadurga—the production brought each form alive with energy and reverence.

I had never known, until this performance, that the Goddess is called Durga because she vanquished Durgamasura. The story of demons seeking near-immortality and the Goddess outwitting them each time—with redemption and forgiveness woven in—felt as gripping as any modern thriller. Drama, romance, action, anticipation, even sci-fi-like visual effects—this production had everything.

The costumes, makeup, and stagecraft were exceptional. But the moment that stayed with me was the dance between the raging Kalaratri and her counterpart, Nataraja, trying to calm her. Andela Ravamidi Padamulada, an untouchable classic from Swarna Kamalam, was elevated even further by director Balu garu’s vision. The placement of the Goddess’ moment of self-realization within the song was sheer brilliance. When Kalaratri accidentally strikes Nataraja with her foot, the entire auditorium held its breath. The young dancers’ choreography was nothing short of astounding.

Only when my seven-year-old whispered that the performers had played bride and groom in the Tirumala Annamayya show back in May did I snap out of the trance. Until then, all I saw was the majestic union of Shiva and Shakti—the cosmic balance urging us to seek the divine in everyone and everything.

Take a bow, Director Balu garu, Surya Teja Arts, and SMVA Trust.
You transformed your audience for the better.

 

Humans (Angels) of My Life- The Doctors!

Humans (Angels) of My Life- The Doctors!

It's been exactly a year since my craniotomy surgery and looking back at this day last year makes me feel like I really have been born again.

The updates Bhaskar sent to keep our local friends informed during my hospital stay are in this blog post here:

https://tumorsandtravels.blogspot.com/.../hospital...

I also feel that I have aged a decade just this past year. I am still struggling with constant headaches, eye aches, and lack of energy, most of which get unnoticed because they don't come with visible bruises.

An army of people have been there for me through this surgery and recovery. With all the positivity that surrounds me, I am hopeful that I will recover soon from all that continues to ail me. I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank the amazing doctors that have made this surgery and recovery possible.

*****************************

Without further ado, next on my series - Humans of my life- are the angels that showed up in my life just at the right time, disguised as doctors.

First, it was the team of ER doctors at St. Vincent's on Feb 16th, 2024. Dr. E and his two other colleagues made some strategic decisions that literally saved my life. They ordered a CT scan even though my symptoms aligned with a normal migraine. The MRI they originally suggested to be done at my convenience was later ordered while I was still in ER. If it weren't for their abundance of caution, my tumor wouldn't have been diagnosed in a timely manner. Knowing my resistance for any doctors visits or medical procedures, that MRI would have been indefinitely put off.

I sat with that initial diagnosis for more than a week before I could see a neurosurgeon. I didn't share the tumor news with my parents or extended family/friends, and I was very anxious about what that all meant. Then came Dr. R, through my storytelling circles, who introduced me to his neurosurgeon-friend, Dr. M. It was Dr. M that gave me the much-needed initial prognosis, the options and choices ahead of me, and most importantly the confidence that I will most likely be alright.

Then it was Dr. H. whom I only saw that day for the first time because my regular ophthalmologist was unavailable. Towards the end of my checkup, I casually mentioned my meningioma and the need for a surgery. She stopped typing up my prescription immediately, swiveled in her chair towards me and said- "you HAVE to see Dr. G". She showed the scars from her own brain surgery from five years ago and said Dr. G was the best of the lot.

A quick google search for Dr. G told me he was related to a dear friend. She was able to make an introduction, and, by that weekend, I had moved to Dr. G's care. Everywhere I went to, from MRI technicians to the administrative personnel, I heard lavish praises of Dr. G. Even the nurse who shaved parts of my head the night before surgery said Dr. G was the best. Though it all seemed comical and staged at one point, it filled me with immense respect and trust for Dr. G. I had visions of him dressed as Lord Rama, holding my hand and walking me to the other end of a busy road. One might argue that my visions were the effect of the 'good stuff' I was getting as part of pain medication,

Then there is the chair of radiation oncology at UW, Dr. RR, yet another connection that just literally knocked on my door exactly when I needed, via an Intel friend that I met with for the first time in months. Dr.RR patiently educated me on the pros and cons of going for traditional radiation as opposed to Proton Therapy and helped me make an informed decision.

Finally, radiation oncologist Dr. L, and her team of radiation technicians at Fred Hutch that made the 8 weeks of radiation treatment, away from home and family, seem bearable.

These angels, disguised as doctors, are the reason I was able to get through this past year. I will forever be indebted to every one of them.

I have one more individual to mention here - the unleashed dog that chased me this afternoon on NW Madrone street, twice. I have serious childhood trauma from dogs pouncing onto me and biting me, and I am still quite shaken by the whole incident. I am thankful that this dog did not undo the collective work of all my doctor angels, on the very day I got another lease on life only a year ago, though he nearly did just that.

04.30.24 Getting wheeled into surgrey

Ian at Fred Hutch Proton Center

Front desk ladies at Fred Hutch Proton Center

Dr. G the neurosurgeon, G for God!

Dr. H, the ophthalmologist

The dog that chased me twice, on 04.30.25