In a skit that I recently wrote, I made up this character of a tiger mom in denial. The one that wakes her 5yr old up at 4am for an hour of yoga, a 10K run and a 25mile bike ride before school, subjects her to 3 hours of violin lessons after school, replaces every dinner table discussion with a crash course on calculus and reads quantum mechanics at bed time. This mom complains that the kid always seems sleepy even though she is in bed promptly at midnight, every night. There is a fair amount of exaggeration there but I am afraid I came dangerously close to living that character last night.
The past few weeks have been quite difficult for us, transitioning out of having parents at home, baby#2 getting closer and our (not-so-much-a-) baby#1 involved in one too many activities. Last week specifically was a nightmare.
Tuesday- Hip-hop performance at tree lighting
Thursday- Abacus End-of-term exam
Sunday AM- Jazz performance at company dance competitions
Sunday PM- Telugu End-of-term exam
This was in addition to her various school and after school commitments throughout the week, most of them requiring some level of homework or preparation at home. It was exhausting for me to keep the schedule straight in my head, let alone be in the front and center of it like my poor little one had to be. But she got through it all.
Her hip-hop performance at tree lighting was awesome, especially given that they had performed outdoors in the cold and rain. Her preparation for abacus was admirable, she went from not being able to solve a single problem in the allotted 7min to almost solving all ten problems required to clear the level. She thinks she might not clear the level this time but it really was a praise-worthy effort from her. She spent almost six hours straight on Saturday preparing for her Telugu test, not an easy fete considering how 'mean' she thinks I get when I turn into her teacher. She was in the car in makeup and costume by 8AM on Sunday and gave what I thought was a perfect performance at her jazz competitions. She was upbeat during her Telugu exam and appeared to have done well.
I know I am definitely bragging but here is where things took an about turn. We were at a friend's place for a book club meeting that evening after the Telugu test. The hostess was very kind and offered us cupcakes. There were five kids and four adults total and after everyone has had a piece, there was one cupcake left in the plate. My kid asked the hostess if she could have the last one. That's when I totally lost it. How could she be so selfish, so inconsiderate of others?! There were four other kids that could all be wanting the same thing! I was so disappointed that she did not even ask if anyone else wants to split it with her. Just straight up claiming the last bit of goodness with no care for anyone else.
At bed time that night, I told her how disappointed I was with the whole cupcake episode. I told her my expectations very clearly. I told her I did not care if she failed in every test she took and that my goal for her was to first and foremost be a kind person with empathy. I told her that I would never want to see her be inconsiderate of those around her. I had tears in my eyes as I was giving this speech. She just kept quiet and did not say anything in response. Then she went to bed and I started grading the Telugu test papers.
Two hours later, she suddenly woke up from her sleep. It was close to mid-night and I was still awake. She asked me how many marks she got in her test. When she heard me say her marks, she threw her fist in air, gave a hi-five to her dad and said "that's the most I ever got in Manabadi!". She fell back asleep. Her test score was the first thing she talked about when she woke up. She is clearly excited about her test results and did not look like she even cared one bit about my teary eyed speech from the night before. I had to resign and accept that she is still 8. I felt a little like the fictional mom character I made up, complaining about kid's shortcomings. I did slip in a rather long, hand-written note in her lunch box today though. No prizes for guessing what that note talks about. :)
The past few weeks have been quite difficult for us, transitioning out of having parents at home, baby#2 getting closer and our (not-so-much-a-) baby#1 involved in one too many activities. Last week specifically was a nightmare.
Tuesday- Hip-hop performance at tree lighting
Thursday- Abacus End-of-term exam
Sunday AM- Jazz performance at company dance competitions
Sunday PM- Telugu End-of-term exam
This was in addition to her various school and after school commitments throughout the week, most of them requiring some level of homework or preparation at home. It was exhausting for me to keep the schedule straight in my head, let alone be in the front and center of it like my poor little one had to be. But she got through it all.
Her hip-hop performance at tree lighting was awesome, especially given that they had performed outdoors in the cold and rain. Her preparation for abacus was admirable, she went from not being able to solve a single problem in the allotted 7min to almost solving all ten problems required to clear the level. She thinks she might not clear the level this time but it really was a praise-worthy effort from her. She spent almost six hours straight on Saturday preparing for her Telugu test, not an easy fete considering how 'mean' she thinks I get when I turn into her teacher. She was in the car in makeup and costume by 8AM on Sunday and gave what I thought was a perfect performance at her jazz competitions. She was upbeat during her Telugu exam and appeared to have done well.
I know I am definitely bragging but here is where things took an about turn. We were at a friend's place for a book club meeting that evening after the Telugu test. The hostess was very kind and offered us cupcakes. There were five kids and four adults total and after everyone has had a piece, there was one cupcake left in the plate. My kid asked the hostess if she could have the last one. That's when I totally lost it. How could she be so selfish, so inconsiderate of others?! There were four other kids that could all be wanting the same thing! I was so disappointed that she did not even ask if anyone else wants to split it with her. Just straight up claiming the last bit of goodness with no care for anyone else.
At bed time that night, I told her how disappointed I was with the whole cupcake episode. I told her my expectations very clearly. I told her I did not care if she failed in every test she took and that my goal for her was to first and foremost be a kind person with empathy. I told her that I would never want to see her be inconsiderate of those around her. I had tears in my eyes as I was giving this speech. She just kept quiet and did not say anything in response. Then she went to bed and I started grading the Telugu test papers.
Two hours later, she suddenly woke up from her sleep. It was close to mid-night and I was still awake. She asked me how many marks she got in her test. When she heard me say her marks, she threw her fist in air, gave a hi-five to her dad and said "that's the most I ever got in Manabadi!". She fell back asleep. Her test score was the first thing she talked about when she woke up. She is clearly excited about her test results and did not look like she even cared one bit about my teary eyed speech from the night before. I had to resign and accept that she is still 8. I felt a little like the fictional mom character I made up, complaining about kid's shortcomings. I did slip in a rather long, hand-written note in her lunch box today though. No prizes for guessing what that note talks about. :)
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| At her first performance as the company dancer |
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| First time wearing fake eyelashes |
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