The Smile Stash: Standing Tall

My daughter is pretty tall for a 7yr old and I think she has beautiful soft hair. However, whenever someone compliments her height or the softness of her hair and she thanks them politely with a very wide smile, I cringe. I struggle to reason with the fact that she did absolutely nothing to arrive at her current height or her hair softness.

Along similar lines, I never understood the point of beauty pageants. It is not like we have any say in the facial features or the general structure of our bodies, right? It mostly is what it is. Beauty is extremely subjective anyway. If the point of these pageants is to highlight the contestants' physical fitness, there is Iron Man race. Highlight the brains? Well, there are all kinds of bees, IQ tests and Forbes lists for that. Why bother organizing the beauty pageants anyway?

Now that you heard my rant about beauty pageants, you must also hear the very long story about how I ended up participating in one, just this past weekend.

A week or so ago, local Telugu association announced a TANA (Telugu Association of North America) event to be held in Portland. I am an ardent music lover and student so I jumped onto the event website only to find that I am not young enough to participate in any singing contests. I was disappointed and expressed as much on the event Facebook page. A couple of friends that serve on the organizing committee responded and said I could participate in a beauty pageant for Mrs TANA. I simply rolled my eyes.

I signed up my kid though- for classical and filmy singing and for classical dance. As I was helping her practice with the karaoke track, my husband who generally is glad to lock himself in a room far away from our singing, said I was not sounding right and that I should practice that section of the song more. I was both pleasantly surprised with his interest in my singing and sad all over again for not having an opportunity to sing at this event. At that instant, I decided to sign up for the beauty pageant. I'd do a spoof of the pageant by wearing the bunny suit on the ramp that I wear in the fab every day, use the two minutes I would get at the end to sing a song and be content.

Friday before the event, I went to my office admin and procured a full set of my fab attire- bunny suit, hoodie, hard hat. I announced to my family that I will be wearing them at the pageant. They did not want to hurt my feelings but most definitely thought bunny suit was not a good idea. As I found out more details about the pageant, I realized there were going to be two rounds- An Indian round and a western round that will be followed by the 2min of personal introduction. My daughter was happy about this bit of detail and quickly chose an Indian outfit for me for the first round. They strongly encouraged me to wear a regular western dress for the second round too. I decided that I would change into the bunny suit for the 2min of personal round instead. I had to settle with that plan to keep my family happy and not be worried about any imminent embarrassment from me.

On the morning of the event, I packed my three outfits, my child’s Kuchipudi outfit, makeup and accessories, Shruti box and pen drive with tracks and arrived at the venue. From then on, time just flew by. She sang her two songs- which I thought she did a great job with but she thought otherwise and needed some reinforcement from me. I had to immediately park ourselves in the bathroom, get into mad-dash makeup mode and get her ready for her dance. I realized at the last minute that I forgot to pack a key piece of her jewelry- vaddanam. There was just no time to go home and retrieve it so I scared the daylights out of my cousin’s daughter, pulled her vaddanam off her waist as she was walking back from the stage after her performance. I explained to my cousin later but I am still convinced that little girl thinks of me as jewelry stealing freak J. Finally, Raaga’s third and final performance of the day was done, and yes, she had the borrowed (or stolen) vaddanam on her waist for the dance. She left me alone after that, sat next to her dad and enjoyed the rest of the show.

I went back to my car, put my kid’s stuff away and brought my stuff and started getting ready for the pageant. I saw a bunch of girls, teens mostly, also getting ready for their various dance performances. Suddenly I had a moment of clarity- those girls, all around my older niece’s age, will be watching me on that ramp. My own daughter will be watching me. These pageants are glamorous, popular and the girls get drawn to them. I decided to not sing that day- that could wait indefinitely. Instead, I wanted to wear my bunny suit and say something to inspire the young ladies in the audience, daughter included, and give them my perspective on things.

I finished the traditional Indian round, quickly changed into a dress for the western round. As I was on the stage for the western round, I realized I could not slip to the side of the stage to change into my bunny suit and I also did not have a speech ready. Thankfully I was going to be the last one to speak and I had time to organize my thoughts while the other ladies were talking.

The first participant was a fellow Hyderabadi, even went to the same college as I did, Osmania University, went on to work for Infosys, got married, has a handsome kid who always encourages her and a husband she is very thankful for. She said she represented the common woman and she looked very elegant and sounded very eloquent.

The second participant once worked as an associate professor in college and mentored many students. She is a strong and confident individual that participated in many shows that highlighted women empowerment. She even received a personal letter from ex Indian president, the iconic Abdul Kalam garu. She decided to quit her job after her child was born and is doing a fabulous job raising her children, if the multiple world records her children have amassed right from the age of two are any indication. She epitomized confidence!

The third participant was a fellow chemical engineer! She was funny with her personal introduction, made everyone giggle when hypothesizing a beauty pageant for men. She sounded sweet and had a great sense of humor.

Suddenly it was my turn and I was so drawn to the other ladies' talks that I had not even thought about a speech! The microphone was in my hands and there was no looking back. I had to say something meaningful, motivational, and impromptu.

Here is what ***I think*** I said in the two minutes I had.

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सभायनमः (I salute to this congregation)

अन्नदानम् महादानम् (It is great to donate food)
विद्यादानम् महत्तरम् (It is even greater to donate knowledge)
अन्नेन क्षणिकातृप्तिः (Food gives instant satisfaction)
यावजीवन्तु वद्ययाः (Knowledge remains forever)

That's a couplet I learnt when I was in school- Saraswathi Vidya Mandir, where I studied in Telugu medium until tenth grade. Its meaning had a strong impact on my life.

When I was about five or so, my music teacher thought that my voice was not suited for music but she went on to teach my sister. My sister eventually moved on to another teacher (boy, was I glad!) and is now an excellent singer,and so is my niece, who recently made it big on a Telugu TV show. I didn't go back to learning music as a child but remained an ardent music lover throughout my childhood. I did well in tenth grade, stood 6th in state in the SSC exams and was felicitated by the then Chief Minister Mr. Kotla Vijaya Bhaskar Reddy, The event was telecast live and my whole family watched me receive the medal from him. I remember a family member that had not seen me in a few years remarking- "I expected to find the tiny little mouse that Jyothy used to be. Now she is so big she fit the entire TV screen". I was clearly a big 13yr old!

I went to Osmania University for bachelors degree in chemical engineering. Moved to the US in the year 2000 to pursue Ph.D. in chemical engineering from Florida State University. Finished graduate school in four years, 3 years 9 months to be exact, and moved to Portland in 2004 to work for Intel Corporation as a Manufacturing Process Engineer. Through my first 20 years in India, and until recently here- been in the US for almost 17years now, I have never once participated in any cultural activities. My education was my only identity.

I got married to Bhaskar in 2006 and our daughter was born in 2009. When she was a toddler, one day (February 9th, 2011 to be exact) I woke up and decided I needed to get physically fit and healthy. I rode my bike the 6.5 miles to my work. I went on to ride to work consistently. In 2012, I rode 80miles of Reach the Beach. In 2013, I participated in the 202mile STP ride and several other athletic endeavors after that.

When my daughter was about 5yrs old, I realized how little Telugu she spoke or understood. I spoke to Manabadi Murthy garu and struck a deal with him- that I would enroll her in Manabadi but also teach there so I can keep tabs on my child and make sure she doesn't run away :). While there, I tried to make the kids participate in GPTA's Ugadi event every year as I looked at that stage as an opportunity for my young students to gain confidence. We did better every year and they grew more and more confident to a point where they had perfect diction and zero stage fright. It is not all because of their teachers but it is their willingness to learn and break out of their comfort zone to try something new.

My education and financial independence gave me the confidence through out my life. My athletic endeavors made me fit. Manabadi gave me an identity in society and watching my young students grow into strong, compassionate and confident individuals makes me feel immensely satisfied. I feel unstoppable- I started learning music and even performed at this very venue last year. It even brought me on to this stage today for this beauty pageant!

I only have one thing to say to all the young kids sitting in this auditorium. Take your education seriously, your knowledge will be your power. Do not let distractions or naysayers deter you. Be armed with knowledge and go conquer the world. Spread your knowledge to those around you. You will be unstoppable too!

Thank you.

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