Nut-Free Lunch

For the first five years of my motherhood, I did not have to worry about packing food for my kid. All the Day Cares/Preschools she had ever been to had full kitchens and fresh hot food for the kids lunch. Now that I have a kindergartner going to a public school, I have a new found respect for all such places that cook and serve food to kids.

It is simple, all one would have to do is- set up a lunch account, put some money in, let the kid start using the lunch money with the four digit pin to buy the school cafe lunch. Simple and yet something I have been too lazy to execute this whole school year. I have just been waking up a little bit earlier than usual to pack her lunch instead. Today was an exception. I slept late and barely had enough time to get myself out of the house to make it to my 7am on time. Lunch was not packed. How I wished I had setup her school lunch money! She was still asleep when I left so decided on paying a visit to school after my morning meetings, to hand her lunch and to give her a hug.

When I went to the lunch room, a bunch of third graders were just clearing the area to make way for the two kindergarten classes. Just a couple of minutes later, in walked Raaga's class, making peace and quiet signs with their hands. It only took a couple of minutes for all the kids to get situated. The kids with smarter parents that figured out lunch money system went and bought their lunch. The rest of the kids opened their lunch boxes from home. Both sets of kids spent more time chatting with those sitting next to them than on eating. Clearly it didn't matter where the lunch came from!

I listened in to some of those conversations. This one kid drinking some juice suddenly whispered something into his neighbor's ear, showed the label on the juice bottle and started laughing. The sequence of whispering/label-pointing/laughing continued for at least two other kids. Upon closer inspection, I realized the juice was Naked.

I got a chuckle out of that myself and walked over to the nut-free table since there was only one kid there sitting all by himself. I knew who he was so I said hi and also told him how much I loved his performance at the Spring Musical yesterday. He let out the most beautiful smile and resumed eating his lunch. I took his permission, sat next to him and started making some small talk. A teacher came by and told me that parent volunteers are not allowed to sit at the nut-free table due to allergy restrictions. I felt bad to leave his side but had no choice. I apologized to the teacher, told her I was just trying to keep him company and reluctantly came back to the noisier part of the lunch room where Raaga and her friends were.

The girls were trying to figure out whether George Washington is the american president or George Bush, which of these two were alive, and who is Barrack Obama then if either president Georges were alive. Just then, the teacher that kicked me off nut-free table came back to ask me if I was Raaga's mom and whether there were any nuts in her lunch today. Apparently she asked the kid with nut allergies if he wanted any of his friends to sit next to him and the kid requested Raaga's company. I was super excited- that poor kid would not have to sit alone! As I started packing up her lunch to go over to the other table, Raaga quietly announced she did not want to go to the other table.I was very disappointed. I tried to tell her how happy that other kid would feel to have her company. I promised to stand by that table to keep them two company. But she was very clear with her answer- she just did not want to go to the nut-free table. She said she would sit with him another day. The teacher came back and asked Raaga's friend if she would like to be the one sitting at nut-free table. But she had cashew nuts in her lunch box and she couldn't go. I got frustrated and tried one more time to get Raaga to go to that table. Still the same answer- she did not want to go there today, period.  She was too engrossed in the president George conversation to even consider leaving. That poor kid ended up eating his lunch by himself. The bell rang, 20 minutes were up and the kids merrily went to lunch recess.

I walked out of the school extremely disturbed. Was I reading too much into this? The teacher did say that kid with allergies was used to sitting by himself. So perhaps my child is not the first one to say no? Should I be worried about the lack of compassion in my five year old or is that too much to expect from a kid that age? Does it reflect poorly on my parenting skills? Or is this a quality that comes naturally? Should I just look at the bright side and appreciate the fact that she knew what she wanted and she had no trouble saying no to what she didn't want, politely at that (with the offer of doing it another day). I have always struggled to say no to others for the fear of hurting their feelings and often end up doing things I would not necessarily do otherwise. So may be I should not be too upset. All I can do is to wish with all my heart that the nut-free table always has more than just one kid eating there at any given time.