They say one should talk about weather if unsure of what to talk about. The thing with us Portlanders is that we talk about weather first even if we do have something else to talk about. Yes, I do have something to write about today but I must first say that it was pouring cats and dogs that afternoon in Portland :). The rain was unusually heavy, one of the few times one did need to cover or hide away. I had a couple of hours to kill after I dropped my kid at a downtown class and despite having my running clothes on, all I could do was to run back to my car in that shady-looking parking lot for cover. I parked at the premium spot next to a giant dumpster. I figured that it was as good a time and ambiance as any for my singing practice. It was then that I saw this lady.
She was tall, fair, and skinny, and appeared to be in her 40s. She had on a leopard print hat, heavy make-up and a rain jacket that didn't appear to be doing its job so well. She seemed to be in a rush and yet looked very poised and elegant as she walked towards the parking lot, effortlessly pulling a carry-on type suitcase with one hand. I assumed she was headed to her car and I went back to YouTube-ing old Telugu favorites. But when I looked up a few minutes later, she was still out there, pulling something out of the dumpster. It was black- a shirt or a sweater, I could not tell. She quickly shoved that black thing inside her suitcase and went back to digging into the dumpster for some more stuff. It however did not look like she was looking for anything in particular. I did not want to stare at her too much as I feared she might feel compelled to abort the task on her hands and leave. Based on my discreet observations over the next five minutes, I concluded that A. she was definitely not at that parking lot to find her car and B. she did not want anyone to know what she did at that parking lot. I respected the latter part of my conclusion and went back to my singing.
It has been a week and that incident is still fresh in my memory. She was clearly poor and in need but the expressions on her face conveyed a totally different story. She didn't want anyone to think that she needed help. I have been drawing parallels to the average facebook status updates. "My gorgeous morning hike!", "My daughter's awesome dance performance!", or "Our amazing anniversary dinner!". We have seen plenty of such positive posts on social media. Very rarely do we see "I weigh 10 lbs more than I did three months ago", "My kid is a spoiled brat" or "My husband and I just had an argument"- and I didn't have to make up at least one of these 'posts' :). It's just that most people like to keep the bad to themselves and put the good face forward.
One of my good friends often asks me why even bother putting any face up on Facebook, good or bad. For the record, she is on Facebook and does not ever post anything on her wall. She gets me on the defensive with that one- I say I put it up to feel good about myself. I say I put stuff up to identify and communicate with others that share similar interests as me. I do know for a fact that I put at least my athletic accomplishments or even goals up on social media so people can guilt me or motivate me into scaling new heights. Just last week, a FB friend had asked me why I hadn't posted anything about my biking, and, boom, I rode to work today! But I do have deep thoughts on this subject- why don't I want to advertise the bad stuff? Do I like posting the good stuff only to temporarily ignore the rough times of life and feel good? Am I afraid of others judging me if I posted the bad stuff?
Maybe that lady by the dumpster did not want to get into trouble with the law. Maybe she just wanted to pretend that nothing bad happened. Maybe she does not want others to pity her. I really wanted to help her out that rainy afternoon- I just didn't know how. I felt so helpless. Maybe that's the thing with social media too- too many people will have the knowledge of the rough times posted on walls but not many will know what to do with that information. For the specific individual, it's a lose-lose situation. So, I guess when going through a bad phase, all one can do, on Facebook or in real life, is to be positive and try to move on, which is precisely what that lady by the dumpster did.
One of my good friends often asks me why even bother putting any face up on Facebook, good or bad. For the record, she is on Facebook and does not ever post anything on her wall. She gets me on the defensive with that one- I say I put it up to feel good about myself. I say I put stuff up to identify and communicate with others that share similar interests as me. I do know for a fact that I put at least my athletic accomplishments or even goals up on social media so people can guilt me or motivate me into scaling new heights. Just last week, a FB friend had asked me why I hadn't posted anything about my biking, and, boom, I rode to work today! But I do have deep thoughts on this subject- why don't I want to advertise the bad stuff? Do I like posting the good stuff only to temporarily ignore the rough times of life and feel good? Am I afraid of others judging me if I posted the bad stuff?
Maybe that lady by the dumpster did not want to get into trouble with the law. Maybe she just wanted to pretend that nothing bad happened. Maybe she does not want others to pity her. I really wanted to help her out that rainy afternoon- I just didn't know how. I felt so helpless. Maybe that's the thing with social media too- too many people will have the knowledge of the rough times posted on walls but not many will know what to do with that information. For the specific individual, it's a lose-lose situation. So, I guess when going through a bad phase, all one can do, on Facebook or in real life, is to be positive and try to move on, which is precisely what that lady by the dumpster did.
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