OK. I give up.
I grew up in music-admiring and music-worshiping family. I memorized the lyrics of every Varnam and Keertana my sister practiced playing back her Guru Mrs. Sundari Janakiraman's lessons on her Philips tape recorder-a gadget purchased for Rs.600 back in the mid 1980's specifically for this purpose. I stood frustratingly silent at every family gathering my sister refused to sing- she had throat issues, forgot lyrics and didn't have her music book handy, was feeling shy or just simply had absolutely no interest in singing nanna's usual requests (Himagiri Thanaye or Kalyani Raagam-Vanajakshi) yet another time. If only I could sing as well as she could, I would never refuse to sing- I used to think. Actually, until very recently, I really thought I too could sing, given the requisite training. Five weeks since enrolling in music classes, however, I came face to face with the bitter truth. No. It is too late. Music is not for me. There is not much I can do if my vocal chords are just incapable of producing two of the base octave notes necessary to learn classical music. I used to be able to sing random songs and feel good about myself. Now, I am horrified to listen to the cacophony I seem to produce in the name of music with notes gone horribly all over the place. Thanks to the new found awareness of my shortcomings, I lost the ability to tolerate my own voice. So, no, I will never be able to sing and feel good about myself again. I guess one has to be really gifted or must embark on this journey very early in life. I figure I am about three decades too late with this endeavor.
Meanwhile, my sister took a full 180 turn with her views on classical music. She had never showed much interest in classical singing, despite her winning countless contests, prizes and accolades for her beautiful voice at every stage. However, now that her teenage daughter, similarly melodiously gifted, is refusing to go to music classes, she has a new found love for classical music. She wishes her daughter would pursue music more willingly. I am imagining the look on our mom's face at my sister's mention of her daughter's reluctance- eyes still rolling!
Just like my mother had with my sister's singing and my sister now has with my niece's, I have a feeling that my dear daughter would be good in classical music and dance. I really would like her to pursue them. I strongly believe that the classical forms lay the foundation and provide a gateway for excelling in basically any other forms of music and dance. At the same time, I don't want to force her into these things just because I have a hunch she'd be good at them. She might hate singing even though she sounds sweet to me at this time. She might be repulsive to the very idea of classical dancing. She told me she already knows how to dance and does not need to learn. She was referring to the bollywood dance she learnt over the last couple of summers. Besides, I don't have the patience to coax the kid into doing anything she does not love- I use up all of those calories in dragging her to the weekly Telugu classes as it is. So I have decided to provide her with the what and why and let her choose between yes and no for these activities.
Music teacher has not started classes yet. I took her to a dance school to observe last week. The teacher was super nice, lively and funny. Raaga appeared to have a good time there and I expected her to say an emphatic yes for enrolling in weekly classes. However, yesterday, as we drove out to get her registered, she refused to go. She said everyone there was older than her (not true). I think she meant everyone seemed to already know their stuff there. I think she was feeling like a rookie in the sea of experts. Whatever the reason, she said no and she was very clear about it. So I turned the car around. We came home and worked on a glitter chalk art project instead. I must say that I really enjoyed doing that project with her. Later, we dressed up in matching outfits (per her suggestion), and went to visit some friends, she hung out with her buddies and I did the same with mine. Outside the few minutes of my trying to persuade her to go to the Bharatha Natyam classes, our Saturday went nearly perfect. She even practiced some Telugu writing, unprompted! Unbelievable, considering that she was in tears at the mention of Telugu class, just five weeks ago!
I find myself dealing with an interesting bit of conundrum at this point. Do I push my kid to do something just because I think she would be good at it and some day feel the passion I seem to have at this time? I might potentially destroy her personality with my persuasion in the meantime. Or do I let her make decisions now and miss out on the precious malleable window of her life for these activities? I don't want her to grow up and be as disappointed as I am about my music. At the same time, I don't want to sign up for week after week of cajoling, and hope that she will start liking these things.
Perhaps I will talk to her again about the dance classes after a few days to see if she changes her mind. For now, I am happy to do silly art projects with her and dance impromptu for random Bollywood songs. She mentioned wanting to go to ballet classes this afternoon. I have one more thing I need to wrap my mind around...
I grew up in music-admiring and music-worshiping family. I memorized the lyrics of every Varnam and Keertana my sister practiced playing back her Guru Mrs. Sundari Janakiraman's lessons on her Philips tape recorder-a gadget purchased for Rs.600 back in the mid 1980's specifically for this purpose. I stood frustratingly silent at every family gathering my sister refused to sing- she had throat issues, forgot lyrics and didn't have her music book handy, was feeling shy or just simply had absolutely no interest in singing nanna's usual requests (Himagiri Thanaye or Kalyani Raagam-Vanajakshi) yet another time. If only I could sing as well as she could, I would never refuse to sing- I used to think. Actually, until very recently, I really thought I too could sing, given the requisite training. Five weeks since enrolling in music classes, however, I came face to face with the bitter truth. No. It is too late. Music is not for me. There is not much I can do if my vocal chords are just incapable of producing two of the base octave notes necessary to learn classical music. I used to be able to sing random songs and feel good about myself. Now, I am horrified to listen to the cacophony I seem to produce in the name of music with notes gone horribly all over the place. Thanks to the new found awareness of my shortcomings, I lost the ability to tolerate my own voice. So, no, I will never be able to sing and feel good about myself again. I guess one has to be really gifted or must embark on this journey very early in life. I figure I am about three decades too late with this endeavor.
Meanwhile, my sister took a full 180 turn with her views on classical music. She had never showed much interest in classical singing, despite her winning countless contests, prizes and accolades for her beautiful voice at every stage. However, now that her teenage daughter, similarly melodiously gifted, is refusing to go to music classes, she has a new found love for classical music. She wishes her daughter would pursue music more willingly. I am imagining the look on our mom's face at my sister's mention of her daughter's reluctance- eyes still rolling!
Just like my mother had with my sister's singing and my sister now has with my niece's, I have a feeling that my dear daughter would be good in classical music and dance. I really would like her to pursue them. I strongly believe that the classical forms lay the foundation and provide a gateway for excelling in basically any other forms of music and dance. At the same time, I don't want to force her into these things just because I have a hunch she'd be good at them. She might hate singing even though she sounds sweet to me at this time. She might be repulsive to the very idea of classical dancing. She told me she already knows how to dance and does not need to learn. She was referring to the bollywood dance she learnt over the last couple of summers. Besides, I don't have the patience to coax the kid into doing anything she does not love- I use up all of those calories in dragging her to the weekly Telugu classes as it is. So I have decided to provide her with the what and why and let her choose between yes and no for these activities.
Music teacher has not started classes yet. I took her to a dance school to observe last week. The teacher was super nice, lively and funny. Raaga appeared to have a good time there and I expected her to say an emphatic yes for enrolling in weekly classes. However, yesterday, as we drove out to get her registered, she refused to go. She said everyone there was older than her (not true). I think she meant everyone seemed to already know their stuff there. I think she was feeling like a rookie in the sea of experts. Whatever the reason, she said no and she was very clear about it. So I turned the car around. We came home and worked on a glitter chalk art project instead. I must say that I really enjoyed doing that project with her. Later, we dressed up in matching outfits (per her suggestion), and went to visit some friends, she hung out with her buddies and I did the same with mine. Outside the few minutes of my trying to persuade her to go to the Bharatha Natyam classes, our Saturday went nearly perfect. She even practiced some Telugu writing, unprompted! Unbelievable, considering that she was in tears at the mention of Telugu class, just five weeks ago!
I find myself dealing with an interesting bit of conundrum at this point. Do I push my kid to do something just because I think she would be good at it and some day feel the passion I seem to have at this time? I might potentially destroy her personality with my persuasion in the meantime. Or do I let her make decisions now and miss out on the precious malleable window of her life for these activities? I don't want her to grow up and be as disappointed as I am about my music. At the same time, I don't want to sign up for week after week of cajoling, and hope that she will start liking these things.
Perhaps I will talk to her again about the dance classes after a few days to see if she changes her mind. For now, I am happy to do silly art projects with her and dance impromptu for random Bollywood songs. She mentioned wanting to go to ballet classes this afternoon. I have one more thing I need to wrap my mind around...
No comments:
Post a Comment