A month ago, Raaga got an invitation for the 6th birthday party of a friend from school. The invitation included the date of the party, venue and directions and information on how to RSVP. It also mentioned a treasure hunt that would take place during the party. That explained the beautifully crafted handmade invitation, it appeared to be deliberately aged to give it an ancient look. Raaga told me something about her friend putting the invitation card in a microwave while making it. I was already impressed with the effort and science that went in, absolutely wanted to attend the party with Raaga and...promptly forgot to RSVP.
Back to the present, this morning, I was surprised to see Raaga lay awake in bed a bit longer than usual and not hear her mention iPad as soon as she woke up: our house rules only allow iPad watching on Saturdays. We played poker last night, everyone's bed time was delayed so I assumed she was just tired. An hour and lots of cuddling and talking in bed later, she suddenly got up and announced that it is her friend's birthday today. She obviously knew exactly where it was, 'cause she put that impressively aged invitation card in my hands exactly 45 seconds later. Sure enough, it confirmed my worst fears. The treasure hunt themed birthday party of her school friend that she has been waiting to go happens to be at 2pm TODAY. RSVP deadline was a week ago. And it is too late for Raaga to go. :(
Raaga was crestfallen and was in tears. I knew she really wanted to go to this party. Called the party host and left a voice mail. Sent them an email as well, just in case. Then turned towards Raaga and explained to her how sorry I was to not RSVP in time. I explained how difficult it would be for the hosts to accommodate cake, treasure hunt clues and party favors to additional guests in the last minute. I told her that I understand her disappointment and promised we could get our own cake, set up play dates with friends and even our own treasure hunt to make up for the party. The crying had mostly stopped and only a low, flat whining remained. She still looked fairly disappointed. She slowly went to pick her outfit ahead of her dance class which was to start in half an hour. She pointed me to a pretty yellow dress in her closet and said she would wear that for her friend's birthday party. She suddenly turned sad remembering that she is not going to the party today, quickly regained her composure and said "for her next year's birthday party". We moved on to her hair-braiding and I could not help but think of my own birthday related disappointments from childhood.
My 8th birthday was a few weeks away. I was desperately waiting for the day when I get to wear a pretty dress instead of school uniform and look and feel special as I go around the classroom distributing candy to all my classmates. I could not wait to invite my best friends home and eat my favorite Gulab Jamuns the evening of my birthday. Just around then, unfortunately, there was a death in the family and my mother was grieving the loss of my grandfather. We made a trip to my mother's hometown for last rites, and even though we were back well before my birthday, it was just a very inappropriate time for discussing birthday parties and party dress, not to mention the financial difficulties of our middle class household due to the various unexpected expenses. But as inconsiderate a 7yr old as I was, I still expected there to be a party dress and a party for my birthday. My mother read my mind and heard my pleas, got me a new dress- a white and pink lucknow chikan kurta and tights, and made Gulab Jamuns. She braided a payi jada (braid in the top and rest of the hair left alone) and sent me to school with a bag full of candy. And thus my 8th birthday party was celebrated, exactly the way I had envisioned.
What an obnoxious daughter I was, so self-centered and insensitive. I really don't have the words to express how grateful I am of my mom and her endless patience with me. I told Raaga the story from my 8th birthday (skipped some of the details to make it age appropriate), told her how immature I was at 8 and how mature she is today at half that age. I told her how proud I was to see her mental strength. She still looked sad. But somewhere along the way, the whining had stopped too.
She was eating breakfast, watching "let it go" on iPad when I got a phone call from the party host. Apparently Raaga had already told her friend that she is coming to her birthday. So the host had already marked her as a yes to the party. I thanked the host for the call after confirming to her that we will be at the party and turned around to look at my daughter. She had the brightest of smiles I have ever seen. "We are going to Madeleine's PARTY!!!!"
Back to the present, this morning, I was surprised to see Raaga lay awake in bed a bit longer than usual and not hear her mention iPad as soon as she woke up: our house rules only allow iPad watching on Saturdays. We played poker last night, everyone's bed time was delayed so I assumed she was just tired. An hour and lots of cuddling and talking in bed later, she suddenly got up and announced that it is her friend's birthday today. She obviously knew exactly where it was, 'cause she put that impressively aged invitation card in my hands exactly 45 seconds later. Sure enough, it confirmed my worst fears. The treasure hunt themed birthday party of her school friend that she has been waiting to go happens to be at 2pm TODAY. RSVP deadline was a week ago. And it is too late for Raaga to go. :(
Raaga was crestfallen and was in tears. I knew she really wanted to go to this party. Called the party host and left a voice mail. Sent them an email as well, just in case. Then turned towards Raaga and explained to her how sorry I was to not RSVP in time. I explained how difficult it would be for the hosts to accommodate cake, treasure hunt clues and party favors to additional guests in the last minute. I told her that I understand her disappointment and promised we could get our own cake, set up play dates with friends and even our own treasure hunt to make up for the party. The crying had mostly stopped and only a low, flat whining remained. She still looked fairly disappointed. She slowly went to pick her outfit ahead of her dance class which was to start in half an hour. She pointed me to a pretty yellow dress in her closet and said she would wear that for her friend's birthday party. She suddenly turned sad remembering that she is not going to the party today, quickly regained her composure and said "for her next year's birthday party". We moved on to her hair-braiding and I could not help but think of my own birthday related disappointments from childhood.
My 8th birthday was a few weeks away. I was desperately waiting for the day when I get to wear a pretty dress instead of school uniform and look and feel special as I go around the classroom distributing candy to all my classmates. I could not wait to invite my best friends home and eat my favorite Gulab Jamuns the evening of my birthday. Just around then, unfortunately, there was a death in the family and my mother was grieving the loss of my grandfather. We made a trip to my mother's hometown for last rites, and even though we were back well before my birthday, it was just a very inappropriate time for discussing birthday parties and party dress, not to mention the financial difficulties of our middle class household due to the various unexpected expenses. But as inconsiderate a 7yr old as I was, I still expected there to be a party dress and a party for my birthday. My mother read my mind and heard my pleas, got me a new dress- a white and pink lucknow chikan kurta and tights, and made Gulab Jamuns. She braided a payi jada (braid in the top and rest of the hair left alone) and sent me to school with a bag full of candy. And thus my 8th birthday party was celebrated, exactly the way I had envisioned.
What an obnoxious daughter I was, so self-centered and insensitive. I really don't have the words to express how grateful I am of my mom and her endless patience with me. I told Raaga the story from my 8th birthday (skipped some of the details to make it age appropriate), told her how immature I was at 8 and how mature she is today at half that age. I told her how proud I was to see her mental strength. She still looked sad. But somewhere along the way, the whining had stopped too.
She was eating breakfast, watching "let it go" on iPad when I got a phone call from the party host. Apparently Raaga had already told her friend that she is coming to her birthday. So the host had already marked her as a yes to the party. I thanked the host for the call after confirming to her that we will be at the party and turned around to look at my daughter. She had the brightest of smiles I have ever seen. "We are going to Madeleine's PARTY!!!!"
Raaga making a birthday card for her friend
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