I’ve been having trouble falling asleep lately, tossing and turning until I eventually reach for my phone and sink into another round of social media brain rot. Unsurprisingly, my eyes have paid the price. During the holidays, I decided to change that habit: I stocked my nightstand with books and moved my phone just far enough out of reach to make a difference.
The first book I picked up was Heart Lamp, the Booker Prize–winning short story collection by Banu Mushtaq. I managed to read only half the stories before I had to return it to the library, but it was exactly the genre I love, being a fly on the wall in other people’s everyday lives and absorbing their stories. It’s ironic how someone else’s mundane can feel like our own novelty. I hope to get my hands on it again soon and finish it.
Next came A Nearly Normal Family by M. T. Edvardsson. It is a crime thriller centered on the 18-year-old daughter of a pastor father and a lawyer mother. The premise was compelling in parts, though it grew predictable toward the end.
I then picked up Jeffrey Archer’s Sons of Fortune, purely out of nostalgia for a favorite childhood author. I was about halfway through when I stumbled upon Heart the Lover at the library. From the moment I picked it up over the weekend, I only put it down to sleep or drive.
Written in the future tense, something I’ve rarely read, it traces the journey of its female protagonist, Jordan, who will remind readers of their first love, their innocence, and their mistakes. One line in particular lodged itself in my heart: “If he knew how much I loved him, it would terrify him.” That thought comes from Jordan's recollection of Willie breaking up with her in sixth grade. When she asks why, he says, “Because you have all these memories of me stuffed inside you and I don’t, and it makes me feel funny.”
I keep pondering about relationships and conflicts. I believe there are two distinct kinds of relationships: those where imbalance is inherent—such as teacher and student, or mother and infant—where one gives far more than the other; and those built on equal partnership, like friendships, romantic relationships, and marriages. Conflict often arises when imbalance quietly seeps into relationships that are meant to be equal.
I find myself returning to the two ways of seeing life that the characters debate. Would I choose presentism, believing life exists only in the immediacy of now, or the vast continuum—birth in a bang, expansion, collapse into a black hole, and rebirth in another bang?
Jordan’s journey made me think deeply, and even a day later, my heart still aches. I later looked up the book and found solace in the reviews, realizing I wasn’t the only one whose thoughts had been deeply stirred by it. I gathered that this is a companion to "Writers & Lovers" by the same author, guess I will soon be reading it!
NPR: https://www.npr.org/2025/11/03/nx-s1-5592934/heart-the-lover-lily-king-book-review
The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2025/oct/30/heart-the-lover-by-lily-king-review-a-love-story-to-treasure
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