It is not everyday that a traditional Telugu wedding takes place in Oregon. It is even more rare that we get invited to one. When we recently got invited to a Telugu friend's local wedding, we RSVP'd an emphatic yes. It did not matter that it was on a Sunday with my 5K run planned for the morning and my usual Telugu classes in the afternoon. It also did not matter that it was in Salem, 75min drive away. We made it work, amidst all odds. As soon as we got there, Raaga started with the series of questions. Have they seen each other before? Did the bridegroom have to win a contest to get married, like Rama had to lift the bow? Why did the bride not come in a basket like you did at your wedding? Why aren't they throwing rice at each other like at Kasu mama's wedding? I was very happy to note that she was actually paying attention to these things and not just happy gobbling down Laddus at lunch.
Speaking of paying attention to rituals- I think I was a couple of days from turning 8 when I put my knowledge of rituals into practice. My mother always carried a little silver box of kumkum (vermilion) in her hands when inviting friends and family over for special occasions. She would put the kumkum on the forehead of women and cordially invite them to join us, whatever the occasion might be. I knew my birthday was coming up and my mother was going to make special snacks for a couple of my friends that I planned to have over. Two days before the big day, I woke up and realized that I did not put kumkum on my friends. I was quite disturbed at the thought of them not visiting me because I did not invite them 'properly'. After school that day, I forced my friends to take a detour and stop by my house. I secretly put kumkum on their foreheads when my mom was not watching and said "Please come to my birthday". I fixed the problem. My friends came over on my birthday, and ate the Payasam my mom made. I fully believed for days that my friends came only because I invited them correctly.
I was remembering my 8th birthday invitation fondly this past Tuesday night when we visited Golu (traditional arrangement of dolls and toys) at a dear friend's home. As we got ready to leave, my friend put kumkum on my forehead and gave me my tambulam (goodie bag). My friend's daughter, Swathi, handed her tambulam to Raaga, and, as an afterthought, put kumkum on Raaga's forehead, just like her mother did to me. What a sweet memory this will be when the girls grow up and for their children someday!
Feeling warm and thankful for good friends and sweet traditions. Happy Vijaya Dasami!
Speaking of paying attention to rituals- I think I was a couple of days from turning 8 when I put my knowledge of rituals into practice. My mother always carried a little silver box of kumkum (vermilion) in her hands when inviting friends and family over for special occasions. She would put the kumkum on the forehead of women and cordially invite them to join us, whatever the occasion might be. I knew my birthday was coming up and my mother was going to make special snacks for a couple of my friends that I planned to have over. Two days before the big day, I woke up and realized that I did not put kumkum on my friends. I was quite disturbed at the thought of them not visiting me because I did not invite them 'properly'. After school that day, I forced my friends to take a detour and stop by my house. I secretly put kumkum on their foreheads when my mom was not watching and said "Please come to my birthday". I fixed the problem. My friends came over on my birthday, and ate the Payasam my mom made. I fully believed for days that my friends came only because I invited them correctly.
I was remembering my 8th birthday invitation fondly this past Tuesday night when we visited Golu (traditional arrangement of dolls and toys) at a dear friend's home. As we got ready to leave, my friend put kumkum on my forehead and gave me my tambulam (goodie bag). My friend's daughter, Swathi, handed her tambulam to Raaga, and, as an afterthought, put kumkum on Raaga's forehead, just like her mother did to me. What a sweet memory this will be when the girls grow up and for their children someday!
Feeling warm and thankful for good friends and sweet traditions. Happy Vijaya Dasami!
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| Swathi and Raaga, keeping our traditions alive :) |
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